


Learn to breathe again

by Frenchibi



Series: Fics with Pain [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hajime has a bad day, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tooru is sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:55:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8926672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frenchibi/pseuds/Frenchibi
Summary: The moment Hajime opens his eyes that morning, he knows he should probably just stay in bed.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thunderingskies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderingskies/gifts), [joanofarcticmonkeys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/joanofarcticmonkeys/gifts), [hajiiwa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hajiiwa/gifts).



> For CJ, Taera and Jasper, who make my life a little less hard every day. You guys are the best. I feel like I don't thank you enough, for listening, for caring - for everything, really.  
> This one's for you.
> 
> Title from [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmkzJh_fxas).

The moment Hajime opens his eyes that morning, he knows he should probably just stay in bed.

Each of his limbs feels heavy as lead, and he feels a headache already blossoming behind his eyelids. His window is open just a crack, but it's enough to let in icy cold winter air from outside that makes him even more reluctant to peel away the layers of his blankets and get ready for school.

He allows himself five more minutes of lying in guilty, comfortable warmth before he forces himself up - Tooru would never forgive him if he abandoned him at practice without a good excuse, and _my bed was too welcoming_ doesn't count as one. (Well, for Tooru maybe, but never if Hajime used it.)

His mother is already up, as always, and greets him with a smile, but Hajime can't even return it. Everything feels stiff and unpleasant, and all he really wants is to fall back into bed.

Ultimately it's the thought of Tooru's pouty expression that makes him abandon that idea - or maybe it's the chipper greeting he's anticipating when he trudges through the night's fresh snowfall to get to the Oikawa family home to pick him up.

Except a chipper greeting isn't what he gets. It's Tooru's mother who opens the door, and tells him with an apologetic smile that Tooru is sick today and won't be going to school. She tells him to wait a second, then ducks behind the door to retrieve a small wrapped box, which she places firmly in Hajime's hands.

"His lunch," she says. "Take it with you - I already made it, after all, and Tooru can't fool me. I know you usually share."

Hajime manages a short chuckle at that, because it's true, and he's not at all surprised that she knows - after all, she still includes bell peppers in her son's food even though he vehemently refuses to eat them, and she always gives him two of everything.

He thanks her, and is already almost at the gate when he turns back.

"Ah - I'll come by after school to bring him his homework?"

She smiles. "I'm sure he'd like that. I'll make sure he's awake."

Hajime gives her a little wave and holds the lunch box a little tighter, heading off towards the school.

 

He doesn't need Takahiro and Issei to remind him that his bad mood is showing mere seconds after he enters practice - he knows that already. With every step he took away from Tooru's house without Tooru's annoyingly enthusiastic voice beside him, without a second set of boots crunching through the snow, he felt the heaviness of the day weighing him down a little more. And now that he's here, barking at the first-years to stop slacking off, the pressure almost feels suffocating.

"Hey, hey, Iwa-chan, what's wrong with you today?" Takahiro asks, sliding an arm around Hajime's shoulders.

Hajime shakes him off irritably, mumbling: "Don't call me that."

"Why so evasive? Got up on the wrong side of the bed?"

This time it's Issei, and Hajime shrugs him off as well. "Something like that."

The two of them exchange a glance that seems way too knowing and mischievous for Hajime's liking, so he takes the easiest way out - he walks away, ignoring their protests.

 

He can't avoid them forever, though - they corner him at lunch and drag him to Takahiro's classroom to sit with them, since it's way too cold to go outside.

He grumbles, but knows it's easier to give in than to fight them. Besides, where else would he go?

So he sits between them and listens to their banter, forcing a smile or two when appropriate but otherwise not really paying attention. Halfway through his lunch, he remembers the box Tooru's mom gave him - it would be rude not to eat her food, even if it's a little much for him alone. He supposes Takahiro and Issei will help him with it.

"Ooh, what's that?" Issei asks as he places the box on the table.

"Oikawa's mom had already made it," Hajime says with a shrug. "She said I should take it."

Takahiro and Issei exchange a glance, and Hajime sighs openly.

"Now what."

"...this is about Oikawa, isn't it," Takahiro says. It's not really a question.

Hajime frowns at him. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean, come on. She gave you his lunch! Even Oikawa's mother knows you're practically married."

"Who'd want to marry him," Hajime says automatically, "I'd have my hands full every day for the rest of my life. Also, you're not making sense."

Takahiro and Issei exchange another glance with raised eyebrows before they both start giggling. Hajime rolls his eyes at them, shaking his head in exasperation.

It's nice, spending the break with them - Hajime feels almost human by the time it's over. It doesn't change that his mood clouds over again the moment they part ways, though.

He figures it's just one of those days.

 

On his way back to his classroom, he stops by Tooru's, just in time to catch the girl he knows is the class rep and ask her for Tooru's notes and homework. It's not the first time, and people know that he and Tooru walk to school together, so they must live close together - but the girl (Hattori, he thinks her name is - though he remembers Tooru talking about _Kaori-chan_ ) is reluctant to hand the papers over at first.

"You- you don't need to go to the trouble, Iwaizumi," she says, clutching the bundle to her chest, "I was going to stop by his house and drop these off there myself."

Hajime raises his eyebrows at her.

"I live right across from him, Hattori. His mother already knows I'm coming, too."

She looks incredibly conflicted for a moment, but then she shakes her head as if to snap herself out of it.

"...ah, yes, of course. That makes sense," she says, trying not to look too dejected. "Here you go."

She pushes the papers into Hajime's hands, fingers brushing against his for a moment.

Hajime can't even manage to thank her properly, because the teacher arrives and ushers him out, telling him not to be late to his own class - but he can feel Kaori's gaze burning against the back of his skull as he leaves.

 

Afternoon practice passes much the same way that morning practice did - they split the team into groups and play against each other, but since their main setter is missing, the lineup is a little uneven, and Hajime is finding it incredibly hard to synch with Shigeru today. The second-year setter insists that it's his fault and that he still has a ways to go, but Hajime knows that's not it. He's so off his game, his mind is a mess of dark and brooding that he just _knows_ Tooru would make fun of if he was here and his form is way, way off.

Their coach seems to sense this, because after yelling at Hajime to get it together a couple of times, he leaves it be, and settles for watching the game with his arms crossed and a frown on his face.

When practice is over, he pulls Hajime aside and asks if there's anything he needs to get off his chest.

"It's rare to see you so distracted, Iwaizumi. Is there an important test coming up, or something? Trouble at home?"

Hajime does his best not to sigh, shaking his head. "No, coach. Just having a rough day."

He eyes Hajime suspiciously for a moment, apparently deciding to trust him, because he just shakes his head a little and tells him to take it easy before letting him go.

 

Hajime hangs back behind the rest of the team as he gets changed, belatedly realizing that there's no point, because Tooru isn't even here. There's no one to wait for.

Sighing (for what feels like the millionth time that day), he pulls out his headphones and connects them to his phone, deciding that a bit of music is better than the black hole of silence that is Tooru's absence.

After the first few steps outside, though, he clicks his tongue impatiently and pulls the plugs out of his ears again. This isn't working.

Nothing seems to be working today.

Hajime hates these days that just seem to drag like he's hauling around a load of bricks on his shoulders. The sky is overcast and murky, and Hajime kicks at a pebble on the ground as he walks. The snow is still there, but someone has shoveled it off the sidewalk, so now his boots make a scraping sound against the dirt and salt as he walks.

For some reason, he feels like crying.

He takes a deep breath, stopping in his tracks and staring up at the sky, as if it would give him the answers he's looking for.

_Why am I feeling like this?_

Sudden and unbidden, Tooru's face pops up in his mind, eyebrows scrunched together in worry. _"Iwa-chan, are you alright?"_

Hajime almost laughs, and a bitter taste fills his mouth.

God damn it.

He might not know why he keeps feeling this way lately, like nothing has a point - but he does know where he needs to go to feel better.

 

There's a note on the door when he arrives at Tooru's house - and it's addressed to him. He can't help but smile a little - they always make him feel like he belongs, like he's wanted. Warmth blossoms in his chest; not enough to take away the sinking feeling that this day is awful, but it helps.

He retrieves the spare key from its usual hiding place (as per Tooru's mother's instructions on the note) and brushes the dirt off his shoes before he walks inside.

"Pardon the intrusion," he says, even though he knows there's no one here to hear him except Tooru, who is probably upstairs.

Sure enough, there's shuffling, and when Hajime has taken off his shoes and walks into the open living room area, he sees Tooru peering out of his half-open door on the first floor. It looks like he's got a blanket wrapped up around himself, with barely half of his face sticking out at the top. The sight is a little ridiculous, and Hajime is smiling before he even knows what's happening.

"Get back into bed, dumbass, I'll be right up," he says, shaking his head. "Need anything from down here?"

Tooru's eyebrows draw together in a pouty frown. "So mean," he says, and his voice is a little hoarse. "Bring me water, Iwa-chan."

Hajime rolls his eyes, but waves his hand to indicate he got the message and goes to the kitchen for a bottle and two glasses.

 

Tooru has actually moved back into his bed by the time Hajime pushes his door open with his foot, and is looking up at him with the same pout still on his face.

"You should be less rude to someone who's sick," he says. "Don't insult me!"

Hajime puts the glasses and the bottle on Tooru's bedside table, elbowing a bunch of used tissues out of the way.

"So you're really sick, huh? And here I thought you just didn't feel like going to school." He turns to face him, a little exasperatedly.

 _I sure didn't,_ is what he doesn't say. _I had a pretty shitty day._

He doesn't need to.

Tooru is scrutinizing him with his gaze, staring for a moment before he moves his legs a little and makes room for Hajime to sit down on the edge of his bed.

"...something's wrong," he says.

Hajime shrugs a little. "D'you have a fever?" he asks, so he doesn't have to talk about himself just yet.

Tooru tilts his head the tiniest bit, and a strand of hair shifts on his forehead. "I did, this morning. Think it's gone now. I feel better after sleeping a lot - and my mom made soup."

He gestures to an empty bowl on the windowsill.

Hajime follows his gaze, frowning a little. "Want some fresh air?"

Tooru shivers at the mere thought, pulling his blankets up a little higher, and Hajime scoffs at him. He swiftly gets to his feet and opens the window wide, letting a gust of cold air hit him squarely in the chest.

"Waah, Iwa-chan, get away from there! I get cold from just watching you!" Tooru squeaks. Hajime just grins and shakes his head.

The biting cold is welcome on his skin - it feels real, the pain of it tiny and precise against his exposed face and arms where he's pushed up the sleeves of his sweater. It feels like he's alive.

He lets Tooru whine a little before finally giving in and closing the window, taking his place at his best friend's side again.

Tooru is still watching him, eyes searching his face.

"...did something happen?" he asks finally, and Hajime's breath actually hitches in his throat when he pulls his hand out from under the covers to tug at one of Hajime's fingers.

It's such a small thing, really, but the concern in Tooru's eyes and the tiny gesture are enough to make Hajime's emotions spill over.

He takes a deep, heaving breath and closes his eyes, concentrating on the feeling of Tooru's fingers closing around his. Tooru rubs his thumb over Hajime's palm, tugging his hand a little further into his lap.

"Iwa-chan?" he asks quietly.

Hajime allows himself a couple more seconds to just breathe and hold on, trying to calm his breathing and his racing heartbeat. He knew he was going to break at some point that day.

Slowly, he opens his eyes, finding Tooru's expression just as worried as he'd pictured it before coming here.

"...today was... hard," he says quietly. "Just... everything."

Tooru's sad little smile tells him more than he could have said with words - that he knows, that he understands, and most importantly that it's okay.

"Yeah," he says, barely louder than a whisper, "today was pretty shitty."

Hajime manages a weak smile in return, squeezing Tooru's fingers. "I brought you your homework, by the way."

Tooru sighs. "Oh, joy."

They look at each other for a moment, then both chuckle a little. Hajime feels the pressure lifting, just so.

 

They've been sitting like this for more than two hours, talking, joking - it's light and easy, and Hajime has almost forgotten how horrible he felt when he got here. The sun has long since ducked under the horizon, it had barely still been out when Hajime had first arrived - and he decides he should probably head back soon.

Tooru has sunken further and further into his blankets, and withdrawn his fingers eventually because _my arm is freezing, Iwa-chan, sorry_ \- and he looks just about ready to fall asleep.

Hajime pushes himself off the edge of the bed, rolling his shoulders back to get rid of the stiffness from being hunched over for so long - but before he can step away, a hand shoots out from under the covers and catches on his sleeve.

"...don't go," Tooru whispers, and his voice sounds thick and heavy with his face half-buried under the blanket.

Hajime huffs out something that might have been an exasperated laugh.

"You need to rest, idiot."

"Stay," Tooru mumbles. "...please."

Hajime sighs, because he knows that's what Tooru is expecting: reluctance.

"You're a piece of work, d'you know that?" he says, but there's no edge to his voice.

He lets the words sink in, and Tooru's eyes flit away from his face, like he's embarrassed, or... apologetic?

"...I know," he says, almost too quiet for Hajime to catch.

Hajime gives him a long look, but he knows he's not even making a decision here anymore. It's never a choice, to stay with Tooru, not really. It's an instinct. It's an integral part of his being, to want Tooru beside him.

He lowers himself back down to sit at Tooru's hip and reaches over to brush his hair out of his eyes.

"...you're burning up again," he mutters. "I thought you said your fever'd gotten better?"

Tooru pulls his blanket up to cover more of his face, but he nudges his head up into Hajime's palm anyway.

Hajime lets out another half-laugh and lets his fingertips gently massage Tooru's scalp, until he peeks out from where he's hiding, leaning into Hajime's touch.

"Hey, Idiotkawa."

Tooru opens his eyes to shoot him a half-hearted glare, which makes Hajime chuckle a little. But his thoughts suddenly flash back, for some reason, to Kaori, her delicate face and her soft fingers-

"Want me to stay over?"

 

It's so routine at this point that spontaneously staying the night at the Oikawa household is ridiculously easy. Hajime sends his mother a text to confirm (to which she replies with a smiling emoji and a peace sign, an annoying habit she seems to have picked up from Tooru's texting), and when Tooru's mother drops by his room half an hour later he doesn't even have to say anything, she just smiles and tells Hajime his toothbrush is where it always is, and not to keep Tooru up too late.

He gets ready for bed almost immediately, mostly because Tooru looks so tired - which doesn't stop Hajime from bullying him to the bathroom to brush his teeth, at least.

"But Iwa-chan, I'm tired-"

"No dice. Brush your damn teeth."

They stand together in front of the bathroom mirror, a wide and ornate thing with elegant swirls painted on its frame, and Hajime feels Tooru nudge him in the side with his hip. He rolls his eyes at Tooru's reflection and gets a splash of water in his face in retaliation as soon as Tooru is done rinsing his mouth.

They squabble a little, Tooru complaining loudly when Hajime tickles his sides, until his mother claps her hands downstairs and announces that "That's enough, boys!"

Feeling like he's eight years old again after being scolded, Hajime grabs Tooru's sleeve and drags him back to his room, ignoring his protests.

Tooru immediately makes for his bed again, and Hajime crosses his arms. "Aren't you gonna get the futon out for me?"

Tooru bites his lip guiltily and shakes his head. "I... I want-"

"You want to suffocate me in my sleep?" Hajime says, amused.

"I'm not that bad," Tooru grumbles, and Hajime laughs.

"Oh, alright. But only because you looked so pitiful today," he teases.

"Speak for yourself."

Hajime grabs the nearest alien plushie and hurls it at Tooru's head.

In the end, he's grateful though, when he crawls under the covers of Tooru's bed and his friend scoots over to make room for him. He's grateful, and Tooru knows it, that he doesn't have to sleep alone tonight.

It's not something Tooru would openly admit to taking into consideration - he likes to make people believe he's way more inconsiderate than he is - but the fact that he wraps himself around Hajime immediately, surrounding him in warmth (and more comfort than he'd like to admit) speaks for itself.

 

It's not until they both fall silent that Hajime's mind seemingly remembers that today is a day of overreacting and overanalyzing.

He lets his thoughts run wild for what feels like an eternity, until he's almost drowned in doubts and fears and loneliness - until he can't take it anymore.

"Hey, Oikawa."

God, it's so, so good not to be alone.

Tooru nudges his neck with his nose, making a soft sound of ascent.

"... is this-" He swallows, hesitates, tries again. "Are we... special? To you?"

There's a beat of silence, then Tooru pulls back, fast enough to startle him. It's hard to see in the dark, but his expression is just short of alarmed.

"What?"

Hajime watches Tooru as his eyes search his face, trying to discern the meaning behind his words.

"...never mind," he says, before he can stop himself - and Tooru huffs.

"Iwa-chan... what kind of question is that? _Are we special_ \- how do you mean?"

Hajime bites his lip, already hating himself for the things his brain is projecting onto him.

"Just..."

He sighs, and decides he needs a different approach.

"...one of... uhm. Hattori offered to... bring you your homework today. If... if she'd been the one to come here-"

There are days when words are so difficult to find, it feels like he's ploughing through chest-deep, murky waters and not moving an inch.

But it looks like he doesn't need to.

"Iwa-chan, are you stupid?"

Hajime blinks.

"Huh?"

"You really- you really think I'd be doing this," he gestures between the two of them, "with anybody else?"

Somehow, this doesn't put Hajime at ease, it only agitates him further.

"Well - I know how... clingy you get when you're sick, and that you hate being alone-"

Tooru exhales in what might have been a laugh, if he hadn't sounded so _bitter_.

"So... you're saying I'm generally a tactile person, is that it? You think that's what this is?"

Hajime can't even nod, he feels like there's no more oxygen left in the room, no space left between them.

"Hajime," Tooru says, and his tongue flicks out to wet his lips. "Is the only reason you're here because I need company when I'm sick?"

His first instinct is to nod, because yeah, sure. He came over here under the pretense of bringing Tooru his homework, but also because he knew Tooru would be happy to see him.

 _And_ , a tiny voice in his head supplies, _because you felt empty without him there._

"...have you ever wondered why _you're_ the one I text when I can't sleep? Why I always come to you first, for anything?"

Hajime holds back a sigh, and he feels a familiar, dull ache in his chest.

"...because we're best friends," he says quietly.

"Because you're the one I want when I'm lonely," Tooru says.

He exhales, as if he's steadying himself. "Because I don't just want company, I want _your_ company. Because I'm selfish and _difficult_ and you're the only one who knows all of my flaws but puts up with me anyway. I don't know, Iwa-chan, are we special?"

There's definite venom in his voice now, and it takes all Hajime has not to recoil.

"What do you think, huh? Do you-"

He doesn't want this, but it's happening. It's probably too late.

"I don't know what to think, okay?" he blurts, cutting off Tooru's rant. "I don't _know_ , that's why I asked! I don’t know, because this, us, feels different to me than any other friendship - it feels like more, and I don’t know if that’s because you want it to be that way or because of my own stupid wishful thinking and _not knowing_ is driving me fucking insane, okay?”

Silence follows his words, and Hajime takes the time to catch his breath, trying to calm his racing heartbeat.

The seconds that pass feel like hours, and with every moment that Tooru doesn’t respond, Hajime feels more fear building in the pit of his stomach.

There was a line here, and he’d just crossed it.

He waits, breathless, until finally-

“...what do you want, Iwa-chan?”

His voice is so small now, somehow. Almost scared.

Hajime opens his mouth to answer, then closes it again.

_What do you want?_

“I-”

Tooru is watching him, he can feel his eyes skimming his face in the darkness, can tell that his face is scrunched up because he’s not wearing his glasses and Hajime is probably too close for him to see, anyway-

“...I don’t know,” he says, and he slumps back against the pillows. “God, Oikawa, I don’t know.”

_Not this. I want to stop being miserable._

Tooru looks down at him for what feels like a full minute, and Hajime can practically hear the cogs churning in his brain.

This probably isn't the best time to be thinking out loud, but Hajime can't help himself. He needs to put his thoughts into words in order to understand them - so he just keeps talking.

"I know I don't want... I don't want to be replaced," he says quietly. "I don't want you to be... this close with anyone else."

And maybe that's the fear he's been fighting all day. That his life doesn't mean anything to anyone. Not really. That he'll always come second to someone - even here, with Tooru, who is the one who keeps insisting they're best friends to anybody who will listen.

Tooru exhales and lies back down beside him, eyes flitting up to the ceiling.

"...you do realize what that sounds like, right?"

Hajime turns his head, staring at Tooru's profile. He's pretty sure Tooru can feel his gaze, but he doesn't turn to meet it as he continues: "Either you're a control freak and don't want me to... have a relationship at all, or... or you're jealous."

Finally, finally he looks back at him, and his eyes bore into Hajime's. "...because you want me to pick you over all those girls."

_Oh._

Hajime can feel the heat creeping up his neck and is thankful for the relative darkness around them - but despite his embarrassment, he can't seem to look away from Tooru's face.

_That... that actually makes sense._

"I'm..."

Hajime clears his throat. That would explain everything, wouldn't it. Or, well. Almost everything.

"I'm... in love with you...?"

The words sting, for some reason.

Tooru almost laughs, bitterness twisting his expression.

"...wouldn't that be convenient."

Hajime blinks, pushing himself up onto his elbow. "How do you mean?"

Tooru shakes his head, and the look on his face makes Hajime's stomach twist in all the wrong ways.

"Guess that's my stupid wishful thinking talking," he says, and his smile is forced and cold and not at all what Hajime is used to receiving from him.

Hajime can only stare, and Tooru seems to take that as all the confirmation he needs. Lips pursed, he attempts another unconvincing smile before turning around to face the wall.

"Thought so. Good night, Iwa-chan."

 

Hajime doesn't know how long he stays frozen, staring down at Tooru's unmoving back as his mind races.

This changes everything - but it also explains so, so much. The feeling of unease that Hajime swallows and ignores every time Tooru gets confessed to. The annoyance at his fan club that is never too far behind. His own complete indifference towards the few girls that had expressed an interest in him-

Oh.

Maybe, Tooru's reactions to the confessions Hajime had received so far made sense now, too. He'd been whiny and obnoxious until Hajime had told him he'd turned them down - and then his mood had inexplicably lifted for the rest of the day, making Hajime wonder whether Tooru had switched places with a brighter, more enthusiastic clone when he wasn't paying attention. (Or, you know, aliens. Tooru would want him to assume it's aliens. Hajime realizes that Tooru has been subtly influencing every part of his life, apparently, even speculation.)

 _"Guess that's my stupid wishful thinking talking",_ huh?

The realization comes slowly, and then it hits him like a brick to his face.

"Oikawa."

Tooru doesn't move, but Hajime knows he's not asleep - he's spent enough sleepovers with him to know how his breathing changes when he is.

Hajime sits up, the blanket falling away from his shoulders as he reaches out to grab Tooru by the arm and turn him around.

"Tooru."

His eyes open, and Hajime is startled to see the glint of wetness on his cheeks, already mentally cursing himself for not hearing that he'd started crying. Tooru looks back at him with a guarded, almost defiant expression - he's closing off, trying to prevent more hurt.

Before he can stop himself, Hajime reaches up to wipe the tears from Tooru's cheeks with the palm of his hand. Tooru stiffens under the touch, but he doesn't move to stop him. They just watch each other, and the seconds that pass feel like hours before Hajime slowly, slowly allows a smile to stretch across his face.

Tooru's facade crumbles almost instantly; his lip quivers and fresh tears spill out of his eyes as Hajime brings up his other hand to cup his face.

"I'm in love with you," Hajime says, and this time his voice is full of wonder.

Tooru takes a shuddering breath that sounds a lot like a sob - and a second later he's pushing himself up, throwing his arms around Hajime's neck and letting the tears fall.

Hajime falls back onto the mattress, Tooru on top of him, and he does the only thing he can, really, instinctual and immediate: he tightens his arms around Tooru's shaking frame and pulls him close.

It's not the first time Hajime has comforted him (after a lot of coaxing to get Tooru to tell him what was wrong), and it's not the first time Hajime has held him close like this, with Tooru's entire weight pressing down into him - but this feels different. Warm. _Right,_ for the first time that day.

"H-Hajime," Tooru whispers, and the sound makes Hajime's stomach clench for a whole new set of reasons.

"...I'm in love with you," Hajime says again. He's still testing the words, trying to understand the feeling behind them. But they feel right.

He buries his face in Tooru's hair, which is as soft as ever and smells distinctly like _him_ under shampoo and chicken soup.

Slowly, cautiously, Hajime lets himself breathe. "...is that okay?"

Tooru sniffles against Hajime's chest (Hajime thinks, dimly, that he'll definitely get back at him if Tooru wipes his snot all over this shirt), shoulders shaking.

"...hey," Hajime says softly. "Hey, is that okay?"

Tooru chokes on his tears as he manages to laugh - a weak, wet sound, but still Hajime's favorite thing in the entire universe.

"Hajime," he says, closer to crying than actual talking, but Hajime has never listened so hard in his life. And then, finally-

"That's m-more than okay."

**Author's Note:**

> I've been feeling pretty overwhelmed lately, sad and stressed and just overall... bad. IwaOi always helps me with that.  
>   
> Thank you for all the support I've received on this site so far for my writing - you guys are what makes this experience so great. I hope to be back soon, but I'm afraid this is as much running from my responsibilities as I can afford, for now.


End file.
